“From an esoteric perspective, lies to the self are the most harming and hardest to detect, for we all have our subjective/unconscious blindspots (hence self-work just by oneself has its limitations and we all can benefit from “mirrors” of close friends/people/guides who are also engaged in sincere self-work without shadow-projecting). In fact, it is “easier” to seek truth “out there” and recognize the obvious lies and deception of official culture and matrix manifestations.
However, without sincere self-examination of how we tend to lie to ourselves with clever rationalizations and justifications we build a “false foundation” and the “matrix has us”, working through our own minds – it limits our ability to separate truth from lies externally as well for we then only see what we “want to” see.
Being fully sincere with oneself can be particularly-challenging for people who predominantly live in their heads (caught in the male aspect of consciousness). This personality possesses a strong intellect (even a high IQ, which is worshipped as “intelligence” in official culture) that has the ability to rationalize and self-justify everything (including crafting a clever exterior persona), especially in relation to the lies stemming from the false personality.
They also have a tendency to get trapped in analysis-paralysis, being unable to recognize anything “above/beyond” themselves, i.e. the higher intelligence of the Divine and Spirit. Caught in overriding thought loops and the rationalizing mind, the door to the Divine is therefore shut – they are cut off within the prison of the monkey mind with occult forces pulling their strings.
The underlying mechanism behind this behaviour is actually unconscious fear, stemming from ego/personality identification. Fear of the loss of control. Fear of surrender to the flow of life/Tao (with the resultant illusory fear of chaos) which is itself based on the fear of nature (the feminine aspect of consciousness) and, essentially, fear of true love and freedom. It also ties into the fear of being “insignificant”, fear of not being “strong” (fear of appearing as “weak”), fear of “not knowing” (and essentially the “unknown”), and fear of how others will perceive us if we’d open up to deeper, authentic expressions of humility and vulnerability (without attention-seeking self-pity or victim consciousness).
Disillusionment (becoming free from Illusion) is inevitable in this process and the hardest part of Awakening. It’s the threshold to cross to be re-born in one’s true Self.”
– Bernhard Guenther